We all enjoy the first flush of new love, but there comes a point in the relationship where you want to know where you're headed. Even couples that have been together many years can hit a roadblock and struggle to take the next step. Perhaps the challenge lies in not being ready to admit what you truly want from the other person, or maybe a past relationship is holding you back. Whatever it is that’s stopping you in your tracks, here’s how to take stock of your relationship and start to move forward.
Let Go of the Past
Unless you can successfully close the chapter on your past relationships, you’ll never be able to move forward with your current partner. We’ve all had bad break-ups that left us feeling jaded, but the key is to acknowledge and work through these feelings of grief, pain and heartbreak so you can move on.
After a relationship ends, it’s natural to want to close the door on the hurt and distract yourself until you forget about your ex. However, merely allowing time to pass without confronting your feelings could cause your feelings about a previous relationship to spill into your new one. To move on and let go of your past, you need to work through your feelings about your ex (either alone or with a counsellor or relationship coach) and learn to love yourself first.
Plan Your Future
No couple really knows what the future holds, but it helps to talk about your long-term goals so you can make sure you’re on the same page. Perhaps the time has come to think about moving in together, or maybe you’d like to have children in the future. If you’ve been planning to get married for years but it’s just never happened, perhaps it's time to take the plunge – you can find beautiful wedding venues in London and other areas of the UK by clicking here, ideal for those looking to tie the knot in a quiet, beautiful fashion. However, whatever you choose to do, make sure the both of you are 100% happy and content with one another’s wants and desires.
Your discussions about the future don’t have to involve marriage and children, however. Your goals could simply be to spend more time together or enjoy more frequent date nights. Whatever it is that you’re striving for in the relationship, it’s important that your partner has the same vision, and that you can work towards it together.
Take Small Steps Each Day
Relationships involve many milestones: moving in together, buying a house, getting engaged, tying the knot and having children – and not necessarily in that order. However, it’s the small gestures that, when repeated, determine whether or not a relationship survives.
Do you thank each other for small acts of kindness, like a cooked meal or a cup of tea, for instance? Do you acknowledge each other’s strengths and respond to one another’s vulnerabilities? No relationship is free from conflict, but if you can work together to overcome your differences in a civilised way, then you won’t have to take quite so many knocks along the way.
Each of these steps requires effort from both parties, and sadly there is no way to move your relationship forwards on your own. For two people to work as a partnership, there need to be mutual feelings, joint decisions, compromise, communication and respect; if you’re struggling to move forward in your relationship, these are the areas to address first.