Loch Ness Monster of Shrewsbury Spotted in River Severn

Alarmed residents of Shrewsbury reacted in terror when a 'large' reptile was spotted along the river banks over the past few days. Dubbed the 'Loch Ness Monster of Shrewsbury' the beast is said to be between 1 and 50 meters long with at least two eyes and 1 mouth.

Police have asked locals to stay calm and have called on national monster expert Douglas Jones to investigate, he commented "While it is rare for such animals to swim this far up a river, the high tides earlier in the year may have encouraged the reptile to do just that. Alternatively the monster may have been asleep, waiting to be awoken, like in the film Godzilla."

The river creature was first spotted on the 26th of March, the same day the town was reported as having the healthiest high street, a coincidence perhaps? Douglas thinks not "The brook barbarian is likely also a healthy eater, or could just be pissed off at Top Gear or One Direction for all I know".

It's believed the beast is a carnivore and is unlikely to have a taste for humans though its been advised that if you see it to stay well clear.

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Pete White Pete White

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